Solutions for Marital Problems
Hope for Your Marriage
Chapter One of the Book
John Eckenwiler has appeared twice on "The Balancing Act" on the Lifetime TV Network
John talks about his book and the 3 key elements to marital success
John answer's questions from the audience the 2nd.
20 COMMON BARRIERS TO A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP
Having a healthy relationship is not only hard to achieve, but it’s hard to keep once you have it. So many things happen in relationships that we didn’t expect. And because we’re all human and need other people, having a healthy relationship is right at the top of everyone’s priority list.
As a marriage therapist who sees the same things over and over in his office, John Eckenwiler has listed the most common barriers here. In his book, John addresses all these common barriers and more. What follows is a description of the barrier, and then where in the book it is addressed directly or indirectly. Therapists and partners alike can use this as a quick reference when encountered with a given barrier.
To make sense of this information, you must know that the book describes three vital elements that must be present in every healthy relationship. They are:
Element #1: The Right Character
Element #2: The Right Love
Element #3: The Right SpiritTo learn more about these elements, click on the link, Lasting Marriage Foundation. The element that addresses the specific barrier, along with which chapters focus on the barrier, is provided.
COMMON RELATIONSHIP BARRIERS AND WHERE THE BOOK ADDRESSES THEM
1. Do not act on ideas to improve things
A problem of Element #1, the right character and Element #3, the right spirit (assuming it’s an assignment that fits and is reasonable) – targeted in chapters 2, 11 and 12.
2. Chronic blaming
A problem of All Three Elements, the right character, love and Spirit – targeted in chapters 1, 8 and 12.
3. Sabotage apparent progress being made
A problem of All Three Elements, the right character, love and spirit – targeted in chapters 3, 9, 12 and 15.
4. Focus on feelings (of love, including being "in love") lost
A problem of Element #1, the right character and Element #2, the right love – targeted in chapters 4, 5 and 7-10.
5. One or both partners continue to be reactive, not proactive
A problem of All Three Elements, the right character, love and spirit – targeted in chapters 1, 3, 7, 8, 13 and 14.
6. Hopelessness and discouragement have set in
A problem of Element #1, the right character and Element #2, the right love – targeted in chapters 1, 3, 4 and 10.
7. One partner is self-centered
A problem of Element #1, the right character and Element #2, the right love – targeted in chapters 2, 7 and 8.
8. One partner acts entitled in the marriage
A problem of Element #1, the right character and Element #2, the right love – targeted in chapters 4, 7 and 8.
9. Personal immaturity reveals ignorance about how to be giving
A problem of Element #2, the right love and Element #3, the right spirit – targeted in chapters 7, 12 and 14.
10. Daily routines or stressors rule daily life
A problem of Element #1, the right character and Element #3, the right spirit – targeted in chapters 2 and 11.
11. Someone continues to exhibit controlling behaviors
A problem of All Three Elements, the right character, love and spirit – targeted in chapters 3, 4, 7, 8, 13 and 15.
12. A stubborn or confusing power struggle
A problem of All Three Elements, the right character, love and spirit – targeted by all chapters, but especially chapter 15.
13. Poor communication skills
A problem primarily of Element #3, the right spirit to expect oneself to use basic, simple techniques of good communication – targeted by chapters 13 and 14.
14. Issues brought forward from family of origin
A problem of Element #1, the right character and Element #3, the right spirit – targeted by chapters 3 and 15.
15. Putting little energy into efforts between sessions
A problem of Element #1, the right character and Element #3, the right spirit – targeted by chapters 1, 3, 11 and 15.
16. Trapped in one approach to marital problems
A problem of Element #1, the right character and Element #3, the right spirit – targeted by chapters 3, 4 and 12.
17. Conflict avoidance
A problem of All Three Elements, the right character, love and spirit – targeted by chapters 1, 9, 12 and 14.
18. Chronic arguing at home
A problem of All Three Elements, the right character, love and spirit – targeted by chapters 1, 8, 10 and 12.
19. Values that make breakup an easy solution
A problem of Element #1, the right character and Element #2, the right love targeted by chapters 1, 2, 4 and 5.
20. High impulsivity and reactivity
A problem of Element #1, the right character and Element #3, the right spirit – targeted by chapters 1, 11, 13, 14 and 15.
Order the book "Shatterproof Your Marriage" Here!
Shatterproof your Marriage - Healthy Relationship Tips - What Makes Couples Want to Give Up and How to Prevent it.
a book John Eckenwiler, LMFT- Licensed Marriage and Family Counselor LMFC
Approved
Supervisor, AAMFT, a Member of the Colorado Association of Marriage and Family Therapy and
The
American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy.
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© 2008-2009 Shatterproof Your Marriage - John Eckenwiler, LMFT
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